In my place, read online. Evgenia Voskoboynikova: “The hardest thing for a person with a disability is to believe in themselves. From the chapter “The Game of Truth”

December 12, 2016, 18:27, Voronezh, text - Oksana Gribkova, photo - Andrey Arkhipov

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Zhenya Voskoboynikova told a story about life in a wheelchair for the sake of dialogue in society.

Dozhd TV presenter Zhenya Voskoboynikova presented the book “In My Place” in Voronezh on Sunday, December 11. Together with co-author Anastasia Chukovskaya, she answered questions from journalists and readers about how the book was created and why it was written.

Zhenya’s story includes a lot of Voronezh, where Zhenya was born, became a model and “Lady Perfection,” and then in 2006 had an accident that left her unable to walk. Therefore, it was important for Zhenya to present the book in her hometown, where people worried about her, scolded her and saved her.

A journalist from RIA Voronezh read Zhenya Voskoboinika’s frank and very personal story about a spinal fracture and life in a wheelchair - about her career on the Dozhd TV channel, moving to Moscow and the birth of her daughter Marusya.

How did the idea to write a book come about?

Zhenya Voskoboinikova was suggested to write “the story of one turning point” by her colleague Nastya Chukovskaya. Chukovskaya remotely teaches online journalism for people with disabilities. The acquaintance of Chukovskaya and Voskoboynikova began with a seminar.

– Zhenya became successful, made a career with the first group of disabilities. So I invited her, and it was a bomb. Through the screen, Zhenya knows how to charge people with her energy, her story, explain how to fight for their rights, where to move,” said Anastasia Chukovskaya.

The day after the successful webinar, Chukovskaya invited Zhenya to write a book, and she immediately agreed.

– When we started writing the book, I didn’t think it would be so frank. I was even afraid to read the last layout. I was shy, afraid of publicity, and I’m still afraid that people will find out more about me and think something for me. There was a lot of talking, tears, and nerves. Nastya’s great merit is that she saved me from panic,” admitted Zhenya Voskoboynikova at the presentation of the book.

How do accidents like this happen? According to the same pattern: twenty-year-old girls simply don’t think that something bad could happen to them. We are young, beautiful, immortal. I don't remember anyone being drunk, but everyone was tipsy. I drank a glass of champagne - I rarely drink more. Nastya turned to me and Dina: “Why wait for a taxi, let’s go with Alexey.” Alexey himself spent the entire evening courting Dina, swore his love for her, and she also agreed to go.

From the chapter “Lucky Ticket”

– When we decided to write a book, I realized that I knew nothing about the topic of disability. I don’t understand what Zhenya had to go through. And it seems to me that it was an ignorant person who should have done all the interviews with Zhenya,” Nastya Chukovskaya explained. “We don’t know anything about how to behave with people with disabilities, and it’s awkward to ask.” When a person who walks writes about a person who does not walk, he helps the reader see the problem in a completely different way.

I could only collect my thoughts at night, when I was left alone. Then I could finally cry - without any of my family seeing. Why do I need this? What did I do wrong? It's because I'm arrogant, right? Is this all my pride? Is this someone's envy? Maybe I was bragging? Groom, modeling career, dolce vita, did you have to show everything off? I thought the whole world would be at your feet, look, where are your feet now? She got what she deserved.

From the chapter “This is not with me”

Why was it important to tell Zhenya’s story?

At the presentation, Zhenya Voskoboynikova admitted that she doubted whether a book with her story would be needed. But she was convinced by her co-author, close people and representatives of the publishing house Individuum.

– I was convinced that society has long been ready for dialogue. We need to discuss how people with disabilities are treated in our society. People want to talk about it. I wanted to tell my story. It turned out honestly, without embellishment, harsh in places, but truthful and from the heart,” said Zhenya.

I finally got home. I was so looking forward to this, I dreamed so much about my room, I dreamed of being with my parents, of returning to my world, at least like this. And it turned out to be a living nightmare. There are steps at the entrance. I can hardly fit in our narrow openings, and there are thresholds in the bathroom and toilet. I am already 21 years old, but I cannot brush my teeth on my own. Why, I can’t even understand whether I want to go to the toilet or not, I don’t feel anything and have to use diapers.

At first, I often fell out of the stroller - I flew forward, turned over, and fell on my side. One day I stayed at home and decided to clean myself up. There was no one to help me and carry me into the bath, so I decided to wash my hair in the sink. I forgot to put the brake on the stroller, leaned over, and it slipped out from under me. I hit my chin on the sink, thank you for keeping my teeth intact.

From the chapter “I’ll wake up now”

Nastya Chukovskaya shared how she convinced Zhenya’s friends in wheelchairs that someone needed their stories, that there was a demand for them from society.

– When you take the stories apart, you realize that they are very similar. People go through similar stages - accident, misfortune, worries, depression. And then people either push off from the bottom or not. The book contains more stories of women who suffered in accidents. The girls who met Zhenya along the way became her friends. They are full-fledged heroes of this book, their stories are woven into it. The stories are similar, but at the same time different. This can happen to anyone. We hope that the book will help someone realize the full responsibility for every second of their life,” Nastya shared.

A man in a wheelchair is not a beggar who begs at traffic lights, and he is not a man who hides his eyes when people pay attention to him. This is a normal person who does the same thing as everyone else. We need to make every effort to live the same life... to accustom everyone to the fact that we used to walk in heels, but now we are in a stroller, but our mental abilities have not changed, our energy is still the same. Only then will people understand that a disabled person is not an unhappy, abandoned and downtrodden person. And if the attitude changes, the environment will change.

It turns out there is even a name for this - social understanding of disability. It lies in the fact that what makes a person disabled is not his diagnosis, but the barriers in which he has to exist. That is, our whole reality with bureaucratic difficulties, unfriendly attitude, curbs and so on.

From the chapter “I’m not alone”

Where did the dark humor come from in the book?

Despite the difficult topic about the life of disabled people in Russia, the story of Zhenya Voskoboynikova is read in one breath, it turned out to be light and sometimes funny.

“The most unexpected part of the work was that in the midst of a dark, scary, depressing, difficult story, suddenly the girls - Zhenya and her friends Sveta and Lisa - begin to laugh. Suddenly their dark humor comes out, and I don’t know what to do with it. They have the right to laugh, but I don’t,” Nastya Chukovskaya answered the question about what was funny in the book. – In all interviews there is an element of my shock. And my shock comes precisely from their jokes, and not from their stories. The girls brought their wit, jokes and laughter to all the scary situations they encountered. This allows you to read the book. If the book had turned out to be very black, it would have been difficult for readers.

Sveta and I have become inseparable. For several years we went to rehabilitation centers together. The main address of any disabled person in our latitudes is a sanatorium in the city of Saki in Crimea. When we arrived there for the first time, what Sveta called the theater of the absurd opened before us. Dozens of disabled people moved along three streets of the town. There is a huge sanatorium in Saki that specializes in our problems. For the first time we saw so many wheelchair users, people without limbs, dwarfs, people on crutches, people who limp or crawl to get from one point to another. But we are different, we came here for a short time. We didn’t associate ourselves with the other patients; we looked at everything as if it didn’t concern us. Now we will work out, get treatment, get covered in mud, take a massage course, get up and walk out of here on our own two feet.

From the chapter "Welcome to Saki"

Zhenya admitted that it is easier to cope with difficult situations with humor. It’s easier to look at yourself from the outside and “make jokes”.

I have developed a favorite pastime: after I park, I open the window and look for some strong young man or man to ask for help getting my wheelchair out of the trunk.

- Sorry what?

– A wheelchair, it’s in the trunk.

-What kind of stroller?

- Disabled carriage. Help me, please, I’ll show you how to unfold it and then I can get into it and go to the store...

Works every time! It’s impossible to imagine that this blonde is in a big car and in a wheelchair. People still believe that some people are invulnerable.

From the chapter “The Game of Truth”

How does one feel about disability-themed fashion?

One of the most interesting questions at the presentation was the question of fashion on the theme of disabled people. Zhenya appreciated the action of the head of Sberbank, German Gref, who put on a suit simulating the condition of a disabled person in order to check how well the bank’s branches are adapted to serve people with disabilities. Gref’s action was heatedly discussed in the media and social networks.

– Gref’s idea and action were controversial, but it all sold millions of copies. It didn’t matter how they did it, what sauce they served it with, he at least tried. This became a manifestation of his will. It may have looked ugly, but the action evokes respect. He didn’t hesitate to come out like that, he felt different. I welcome any PR, even negative – even publicity about cases where disabled people are not allowed on planes, when they are locked in parking lots. All this attracts the attention of society,” Zhenya explained.

There is no conspiracy against disabled people in Russia. Nobody wants us to sit at home and keep a low profile. We have benefits and many socially useful programs have been developed. But no one will act for us and choose what is rightfully ours. Probably, I am so self-confident because I managed to defeat the heads of administrations... I have rights, no one can take them away from me. Without our participation, there will be no changes.

From the chapter “Marusya”

The TV presenter believes that the attitude towards people with disabilities in Russian society has become much better than ten years ago. People stopped hiding their eyes from the man in the wheelchair. Zhenya spoke about the reaction of children to her when parents try to avoid their questions and take them away from the person in the stroller.

– Children are very attracted to my appearance; I look cosmic to them in a stroller. They also want such a “bicycle”. If a child asks me why I’m in a stroller, I usually answer that I was in a car without a child seat, so now I can’t walk, and I need a stroller,” Zhenya said with a smile.

What is the book “In My Place” about?

Zhenya Voskoboinikova described her life as a successful model and student before and after the accident, how difficult it was to face the looks of people in whom, instead of admiration, there was genuine horror. Zhenya told how for a long time and unsuccessfully she grabbed at the illusory opportunity to walk, fought physically until she resigned herself.

By chance, the general director of the Dozhd holding, Natalya Sindeeva, heard her as a guest during a radio broadcast and invited her to the TV channel, which was just being created. Zhenya and her mother went to Moscow, where they began to learn a new profession. It was very difficult, Zhenya cried, got tired and several times wanted to give up everything and return to Voronezh.

Zhenya told how new friends appeared in her life, how her family supported her, how it was not easy for a girl in a stroller to deal with men. Zhenya wrote about her marriage and divorce from her daughter’s father, and about the birth of Marusya.

“I don’t advise you to even try. Sorry, but in your case this is not possible. We, of course, know examples when this happened, but this is something out of the ordinary. Why do you need this? You are still disabled, you need to understand your capabilities.” I remembered the doctor’s words that I would not be able to have children for the rest of my life. But Misha only laughed at this. “It can’t be that things won’t work out for you and me!” Two months later I became pregnant.

From the chapter “Marusya”

At the presentation, Zhenya Voskoboynikova admitted that thanks to her work on the book, she remembered difficult things that her consciousness had simply blocked.

The book contains many discussions about the life of disabled people in Russia, stories about the coexistence of the world of people with disabilities with a society whose representatives are both cruel and merciful. By writing about herself, Zhenya answered not only her own questions, but also the questions of many people.

This is not God, this is not karma, this is not destiny. It’s just that we, fools, got into a car with a drunk driver, and an accident happened. It’s time to ask not “why”, not “why”, but why did this happen to us? I think over time it will become clear to me why this was needed. I have a feeling that what happened was not accidental. That I have to change something here.

From the chapter “Continued”

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Zhenya Voskoboynikova went through a lot: one of the main beauties of Voronezh, a model and the pride of her parents, at the age of 22 she almost died in a terrible car accident, after which she and her friend Nastya were left disabled. “You will no longer be able to walk,” Zhenya heard her verdict in a provincial hospital, where she spent more than six months before going to the capital for treatment. And then - operations, rehabilitation, depression, despair and... finding a completely different meaning of existence, moving to Moscow and working on the Dozhd TV channel. Zhenya turned into a public figure. She makes the voices of those whom society tries not to notice heard, she found the strength to love and be loved, gave birth to a daughter, Marusya, and continues her struggle with even greater strength. How did the young girl manage to do this? Where did the feeling come from that the accident occurred not as a punishment for something, but for something? How did the fragile, long-legged blonde change when she found herself in such dramatic circumstances? Zhenya herself talks about this, without any cuts, and her story was recorded by journalist Anastasia Chukovskaya. Book design: dust jacket, color insert with photographs.

Book " In my place. The story of one fracture"The author Evgenia Voskoboinikova was rated by KnigoGuid visitors, and her reader rating was 0.00 out of 10.

The following are available for free viewing: abstract, publication, reviews, as well as files for downloading.

“Actually, it’s very scary. This is almost worse than a broken spine - to turn yourself inside out and tell all of you about your most secret things!” - admits Zhenya Voskoboinikova, who co-authored the book “In My Place” with journalist Anastasia Chukovskaya. The story of one fracture." Its presentation took place on November 30 in Moscow. The book was included in the list of the most interesting works at the Non\fiction book fair. And on December 10 or 11, Zhenya presented her book in Voronezh at the Spartak cinema.

“I wanted to help others”

It's impossible not to admire this girl. 31-year-old Zhenya is a living example of how a person can achieve success even with limited physical capabilities. Many Voronezh residents remember her story - ten years ago, in February 2006, a car in which there were five people, including three female models, crashed into a tree due to the fault of a drunk driver. Two girls - Evgenia Voskoboynikova and Anastasia Rugaeva - received serious spinal injuries and ended up in wheelchairs. But they didn't give up!

Despite the disease, Zhenya continued to lead an active lifestyle. She decided to try herself in journalism and in 2010 began working as a TV presenter on the Guberniya channel. And then she moved to Moscow and got a job at the Dozhd TV channel, where she still works. In 2013, Zhenya got married and a year later gave birth to a daughter, Marusya. She participates in many public projects dedicated to people with disabilities, and has given interviews more than once, including “MY!” But in newspaper publications, even very large ones, you cannot tell everything. Therefore, Zhenya decided to write a book. On the eve of the presentation, correspondents of “MY!” contacted the author by telephone.

“I’ve been thinking about the book for a long time,” she said. — On the one hand, I doubted whether the story of my person would be interesting. On the other hand, I wanted to help people who find themselves in a similar situation, to show that even with severe trauma you can live a full life, cope with crises and depression, and raise self-esteem. I also hope to suggest something to their family and friends, because many are embarrassed to ask a person with a disability about certain things. Many of my friends admitted that they found in the book answers to questions that they did not dare ask me.

“I tried to be honest”

As readers of the book, we confirm: this is not at all a sleek melodrama. Zhenya talks about the horror and despair that she sometimes experienced and how she dealt with them.

“I was persuaded to write a book by journalist Nastya Chukovskaya, my co-author and great-granddaughter of the children’s writer Korney Chukovsky,” says. — We worked with her at Dozhd, then she went to Budapest. We started working on the book while I was still on maternity leave. We connected on Skype and talked for hours. Nastya asked questions, sometimes provocative. Then material was selected from the conversations. Nastya wrote mostly, but we created the structure together and worked on the text. I tried to be as honest as possible. It is very difficult. This was the main task of the book.

“My ex-husband may not understand me”

Already while working on the book, Zhenya and Nastya had to add several pages. About a year after her marriage, Evgenia divorced her husband, businessman and politician Mikhail Gagarkin.

“The hardest part for me was not the chapter about the accident, but about the history of my relationship with my ex-husband,” our interlocutor admits. — It’s still fresh, not quite finished, because we have a 3-year-old daughter. I think Mikhail may not understand me and may not perceive all this very positively.

Zhenya admits that she still doubts whether she did the right thing by writing the book. And we believe that her story should be read not only by people with disabilities, but (necessarily!) by all healthy people too. To realize once again - you need to enjoy life, appreciate everything it gives, and not waste your time on petty worries.

Five quotes from the book “In My Place”

I was no longer Lady Perfection, I was “a traumatic disease of the spinal cord due to a fracture-dislocation of the fourth and fifth thoracic vertebrae.”
“There was no farewell conversation with Ildar. Everything was already clear. I felt like I was a burden<…>My self-esteem collapsed. It seemed to me that life had thrown me off some kind of pedestal that I would never ascend to again. Now I'm damaged. Nobody will love me."
“I finally got home. I was so looking forward to this<…>And it turned out to be a living nightmare. There are steps at the entrance. I can hardly fit in our narrow openings, and there are thresholds in the bathroom and toilet. I am already 21 years old, but I cannot brush my teeth on my own. Why, I can’t even understand whether I want to go to the toilet or not, I don’t feel anything and have to use diapers!”
“It took me a year to relearn how to roll over on my own from one side to the other in my sleep. Even now I wake up several times - I need to sit down, straighten my legs with my hands, roll over, and then I can fall asleep again.”
If I had days off on television, I don’t have them in motherhood. First, the concept of “reluctance” disappeared. There is simply no option not to do something that my child needs.<…>As our mothers often say, “my grandchildren will avenge me.” That’s for sure: Marus has my stubbornness multiplied by Mishino’s. Convincing Marusya to do something she doesn’t want is almost impossible.

“In my place. The story of one fracture” I waited for several months. Having received the treasured parcel, I read it in the evening. The first impression is that it is damn difficult to tear yourself away from the pages. But it is not the magic of the syllable or the riddle of the plot that holds the story, but the friendly conversation that the brave Evgenia Voskoboinikova conducts with the reader on the verge of sincerity, good and evil. Anastasia Chukovskaya, Evgenia’s co-author, who recorded her story, evokes special admiration.

photo source - Dozhd TV channel website tvrain.ru

When I thought about what the content of this book might be, what I was most afraid of was seeing a story written down from the words of one or more wax masks. The public loves heroes who play different roles in front of the spotlight. In such sagas, even when the author speaks about himself, he retells the content from the perspective of an invented character or in the words of one of his social masks.
“In My Place” is a completely different story; there is no wax or musty smell. This is not a monologue from the stage or even a biography, but an extremely personal conversation in the kitchen. When a close friend shares his discoveries and sorrows with you, and you don’t want to interrupt him. It’s scary to interrupt your interlocutor and destroy the feeling of magic, to lose the exciting feeling when a conversation changes your life in the minutes of its sound.
The story that Evgeniya tells can be divided into two unequal parts. In the first, we are faced with the carefree existence of an attractive girl before the accident, and then the not always easy road to the happiness of a beautiful woman after it. To the author’s credit, she could have poured out all the pain or immersed the reader in the depth of the problems that a person and his rear face, squeezing to tears, having lost his health. Evgenia Voskoboynikova is a journalist and knows how a good dramatic plot can easily squeeze tears and money out of a sensitive viewer. Her story is all the more valuable because, contrary to expectations, she chooses a manner of communication that is as light and sunny as blind summer rain for this story.
Evgenia holds her reader’s hand as she shows the way to difficult peaks to climb. She does not leave him to wander alone, even when he has to make his way through the scary corridors of hospitals. The author just knows how much strength sincere support gives, so she generously gives it to her readers.

“In My Place” is one of the most honest and enjoyable books I have opened in the last couple of years. No one has ever talked as simply as Anastasia Chukovskaya and Evgenia Voskoboynikova about how difficult, but important it is for every person to live an interesting, full and dignified life.

People often ask me how I learned to live again, how I accepted what happened to me. I don’t have a “10 ways to cope with a terrible tragedy” answer. But something became clear during the work on the book “In My Place. The story of one fracture." I had to relive all the most difficult moments of my life, and then look at them from the outside.

About Me

After the nightclub, my friends and I got into the car of our friend, who was not very sober. Anyone who does anything is confident that everything will be fine. This could happen to someone, but not to me. In reality everything is different.

An accident on a slippery road, an ambulance, an urgent 4-hour operation, the doctors' verdict: a fracture of the spine with damage to the spinal cord. And a wheelchair.

Adoption

In rehabilitation centers, a brave new world of wheelchair users opened up to me. Hello guys, how did you get here? Who are you anyway? I think that it was they, those who were there in difficult times and in the same unenviable position, who helped me accept what happened.

One guy told me: “Zhenya, life passes. And you earn yourself calluses in meaningless training. Switch!" And to my surprise, I listened to him. She returned to her home in Voronezh. And I decided to learn to live again at any cost.

Evgeniya during preparation for Mercedes-Benz Fashion Week RUSSIA/Moscow

Independence

After a year of wandering around hospitals, I asked my mother not to accompany me anywhere else. I wanted her to slowly return to her life. If you become dependent on someone pushing a stroller, you will never be able to live independently again.

I had to learn everything. As my friend Sveta says: “Imagine that you are moving from Earth to Mars. It seems like you are the same, but everything around you is different.”

There are no ramps in the city, not only at the entrance, but nowhere at all. It is impossible for a person in a wheelchair to enter any establishment, premises, or institutions.

Even brushing your teeth was a problem: it was impossible to get a wheelchair into the narrow bathroom without assistance. There's no place to turn around in the kitchen either.

There are no ramps in the city, not only at the entrance, but nowhere at all. It is impossible for a person in a wheelchair to enter any establishment, room or institution in the city. You immediately begin to feel that you are not welcome anywhere, that you are a burden. This made me want to close myself within four walls and not stick my head out.

Family

Everyone rallied around me: mom, dad, brother. My mother was given indefinite leave at work so that she could take care of me. In one of the terrible hospitals where I had to stay, my mother, barely looking around, immediately cheerfully declared: “Well, Zhen! Where ours didn’t disappear.” It was with this attitude that we tried to survive the most difficult moments. Relatives helped in everything, both physically and mentally.

Evgenia Voskoboynikova with her daughter Marusya

They always believed in me. When I was invited to work for the Dozhd channel, my mother first went with me to Moscow, and a few years later my father joined us. And then my brother and his family moved. And now they are taking care of my daughter while I’m on air. The whole family watches me on TV.

Believe in yourself

Self-confidence for a person with a disability is probably the most difficult point. At first, old habits helped me. I've always liked to look good. I loved spending time in front of the mirror, putting on makeup, doing manicures, and styling.

I even chose a beautiful stroller first of all. Back then I didn’t yet know what features to pay attention to, so I ordered a red stroller. I tried to color my world purely technically: I had a lot of pink suits. And I also taught my friends, acquired during rehabilitation, to take care of themselves, to please themselves, to take care of themselves, like, girls, we are still wow.

Barriers

The story of a model who had an accident and now sits in a wheelchair in Voronezh caused a resonance. The path of journalists from the central channels did not grow towards me. All of these interviews required a certain amount of artistry.

I quickly got used to the role, knew what to say and how to say it, when to shut up and look meaningfully into the distance. At that time, I had been in a wheelchair for three years. That’s when I met my first psychologist at the “Overcoming” rehabilitation center.

After the accident, I thought that they would never be able to love me. But now I know that this is not so. It's hard to trust, but I still do it. Sometimes I'm wrong. And who is insured against the wrong choice?

Daria Andreevna noticed how much I got used to the role of the victim. And she gave me an idea: “If you feel so good in front of everyone, maybe you should go work on television?” I couldn't imagine this. The more I thought about it, the more I did not understand how Daria Andreevna could offer such a thing. Me, a disabled person, and on television?

Soon it began to dawn on me: I was the one building these barriers. This is what I tell myself: “Zhenya, you should never work on TV. Look at you, at your stroller. Sit at home!"

Job

I really found myself in the public eye. If some socially significant issue was discussed in the media, I was asked to comment. Then it even began to seem to me that I was the only person with disabilities who publicly commented on our situation. One day I was invited to broadcast “Silver Rain”. My friends and I went to Moscow. Yes, I forgot to say that I learned to drive a car. This goes to the point about independence.

Evgeniya in the studio of the Dozhd television company

I went to the radio, to broadcast with Irina Khakamada. We talked about how to live if everything is broken. This broadcast was heard by Natalya Sindeeva. She was then building a new TV channel, she liked what and how I said. And she asked me to come to the casting. It changed my life.

For months I learned to speak in a new way, repeated tongue twisters in traffic jams, I had to understand how to stay in the frame, sit straight, shoot, edit, take comments, make news. Every day I went into battle, every evening it seemed to me that I couldn’t do it anymore. But then a new day came, and there was no turning back. I did it. Now I can say it. I did it.

Love

But it’s better to read about your personal life in a book. It's hard to tell again. In short, I got married, gave birth to a daughter, Marusya, and got divorced. In interviews, I am often asked about relationships with people with disabilities. The question here is who you see. Me? Or a person with disabilities?

Yes, I remember how after the accident I thought that they would never be able to love me. But now I know that this is not so. And I can love. It is very difficult to trust, but I still do it. Sometimes I'm wrong. And who is insured against the wrong choice?

Live here and now

What have I learned over the years? Be happy all the time. Everything is fine. In spring, buds bloom on the trees, there are interesting people around, I have Marusya, mom and dad, my favorite thing, there are many adventures ahead. If my experience helps someone, I will be glad. That's why the book was written. Someone even called it an antidepressant book. There's even something to laugh about.

She's not scary, honestly. To live and rejoice is what I have come to. Everything is fragile. The world is fragile. We are fragile. I don't want to waste any more time, I want to live and enjoy life.